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Tuesday, June 7, 2011

E3 Editorial: Folly of the Major Game Companies UPDATE!

Return of Jaysun:

To say E3 has been below my standards of expectations would be unfair. My personal life has taken a massive blow to a perception of natural enjoyment. But I can still see where the problem lies for major growth in the gaming market. And it's pretty major. I will go by each keynote for the big 3 companies and offer some brief thoughts on each.

More After The Jump Time...Click Away!

Microsoft: Hiring lame actors to pretend to have fun with your on-rails "adventure" and "sports" games is getting so tiresome that my eyes are permanently in rotation from rolling so much. Did you hire those kids for your "Disneyland Adventures" presentation from a batch of rejected actors of the local production of "Annie"? Because no kids I know so obviously are pretending to have fun. Don't show us actors. Show us real stuff. And those goofy guys, pretending to have a real amount of "huddle talk" while playing some Kinect Football atrocity. No wonder those guys spend time playing Kinect football, they seem to have the social deftness of the Elephant Man. No One Talks Like That. NOTLT. Mark that on your creative meeting before each E3 from now on. The only gem from the presentation was Tim Schafer giving an adorable anecdote about finally making a game for his child, while showing his new Sesame Street Game. The fake father and son pretending to play it certainly inspire any retailers to care massive copies of it. That Kinect Star Wars looked so wonky and unplayable that the Superman 64 devs were laughing.  And how awkward was it for Ice-T to say Body Count was reuniting for a special song on Gears of War 3? Even Cliffy B, creator of the game, seemed to have taken some of the Joker's toxin before the show so he could make the best smile possible through it. Kudo Tsunoda even couldn't care. And he pretends to care about everything. They were unclear about the Halo Remake, and didn't mention there will be no online multi-player. I mean wow guys. Halo 4: I don't care, but I'm sure someone will. Who is making it? Not Bungie. Do you want someone else to make it? Does it matter? It seems like no one seems to care if the creating developers aren't continuing a franchise in it's primary console. I'm looking at you Sly Cooper, but more on that later. So Microsoft, just start being honest.
What I Liked- The home entertainment aspect of Xbox 360 was great. They realize they have what is essentially a Windows Home Theater PC in 55 million homes already. Just let us watch TV through it. And we shall. Focusing more on that will allow them to continue winning the Console Wars. Smart. DVR is great. The 3D drawing on Kinect looked like a lot of fun. The Tomb Raider looked interesting, I'll never play it, but looks interesting.
But who cold opens a presentation with 10 minutes of extremely boring Modern Warfare 3 footage. Puh-lease. Lasts years looked fun, and I don't like those Call of Duty games.

Sony: Like the desperate guy looking for a prom date. Risking everything to get someone to just get him laid. They had plenty to show, and probably "won" E3, if there is such a thing. Playstation Vita sounds horrible, yes. It's the first time Sony has tried to get creative with the naming of their gaming systems. Everything else sounds so honest and simple. And that's how we like it. Playstation, Playstation 2, Playstation 3, Playstation Portable, PSP2000, PSP3000...oh PSP Go. Yea...How'd that Work out? PSP2 would have served you better. But the handheld looks AMAZING! Touch interface looks usable. Both Uncharted games looked phenomenal. Sly Cooper NOT by Sucker Punch? Then why? Insomniac got to do Resistance AND Ratchet and Clank. Both worked out very well (Mostly the Ratchet games. I loved those). Naughty Dog decided not to develop a Jak and Daxter game for PS3 (the move Heroes don't really count). The 3rd in the PS2 platformer winner, Sly, will not be made by the creators. Sucker Punch, you know you want to. It's all over the Infamous games. Just ask for more money from Sony, they'll give it to you! Disappointed. Ken Levine showed up to just talk I guess, and say "we are working on Move functionality for Bioshock." Which is fine. And there will be a Vita Bioshock. Ok, neat...where is this stuff? Let's see it, otherwise, it's Vaporware. We don't want to just hear it, we can speculate. But have something to show. Pay attention to Apple. It just works. That being said, Bioshock Infinite looks to be an amazing experience. And we get the first Bioshock on Playstation 3 for free. Ok. It is being made specifically for the system, not a port. Good. Levine gave a great speech, and I'm happy for that. It was involving, Microsoft: Take note. This is the second year Sony has made gaming leaders come out at E3 and eat their words. Last year was Gabe Newell from Valve. Both made fun of Sony in various interviews (Newell
Wow, what did I just do there. This is a video game thing.
Anyway Sony...good job. Vita pricing is very competitive. $50 more for the 3G version? Nice. $249 and $299. Seems very reasonable to me. Given the amount you can do. Competition : 3DS- $249. iPod Touch- $229. iPad- $499. iPad 3G- $629. I think you get the picture. Sony should do well. When it gets to $189, it will be a steal. I'm ready for this more than 3DS.

Nintendo: This is what I was writing on Facebook earlier about the WiiU: 
Vaporware. Same ol' story. These game companies just never learn. They even said software sells games earl on and are pushing an entire new hardware experience to the end user, and concepts to show off. Just wait until 2012, when we see all... the leaked documents and you have actual games to show, and launch a console 5 months later. It will sell out no matter what, it's a new Nintendo console. Gamecube was in short supply it's first holiday system.
I'm trying not to be a hater, and maybe I'm in a terrible mood, but it dragged to explain how awesome something was and we didn't see anything in person. Just devs saying "this is totally bithcin'! I'm making Batman for it!" "Maybe you'll get smash brothers in 4 years guys! We'll see. We haven't even started it!" Duh, you're going to make a Smash Brothers game for it, we aren't stupid.
That seems to be the gist of my overall feelings here. Nintendo just TOLD us how revolutionary it will be. We saw nothing substantial. That's what we need. If you don't have it, don't show it. I wrote an article a while back about how game companies should look at Apple for inspiration. Look at their growth, their level of consumer loyalty. We trust them when they say something is great. Hyperbole too high? Sure. It's marketing. But they show us an iPhone, and BOOM there it is, 2 months later...or less! Nintendo, you don't have to convince "core gamers" that you are still relevant. We know it. They bought a Wii for Zelda and Smash Brothers and Super Mario Galaxy. Get your 3rd party developers. That's fine. We welcome it. But stop with the "wait a year and half and you'll see!" thing. Why do you need that much tie for hype? It's a new shiny console. People will by it based on your name. Make us believe you aren't a hype machine. Make us believe in gameplay. Show us real games. No tech demos, no pre-rendered trailers. No teasing. Games. Show us. HD graphics? Sweet, I'm in. But you can't tell us hardware specs? Why? Oh, because they aren't finalized? Well fancy that. Stop the non-sense. You have now made the Wii an irrelevant machine for 18 months. What if were only 4 months? There will be a market for the Wii as a bedroom system, or a nice alternative for the budget household. But that won't last if that is all you have. What kind of discs? Dual-core? Clock speed? It may seem like unimportant facts to the uninitiated. But how about start up game companies and game makers? What is they come into millions and can make a great game in 10 months? How do they know? You guys basically were burlesque dancers in the background of an episode of NCIS: Los Angeles today. The hint of kind of teasing. We know something good is there, we just aren't allowed to see it for some ridiculous censor board. Get over it. Want a revolution? Make a marketing revolution.
What I liked: Super Mario for 3DS looks fun. Neat Luigi's Mansion 2 stuff. Kid Icarus looking like lots of fun. Skyward Sword still looking great despite being irrelevant 12 months later. Zelda gets the shaft on consoles now huh? Concerts? Whatever. Mario Kart 3DS looking good. Free games? Sure!
Basically Nintendo, stop all this crazy vaporware. Wait...Skyward Sword was it for Wii? See what I mean... Wait, you mean they announced them? Where? oh... ON THE PICTURE AT THE END AS AN AFTER THOUGHT?!?!?!? What The H guys!
From Engadget
Ok. I've done enough here. Damaging my own psyche and ranting and raving like a lunatic in a video game editorial. Like I said...bad place.
from my mInd-


  1. Learn to fucking proofread. Read your first few lines on Nintendo. That aside, you need to learn how to have fun. The new Nintendo system looks cool as shit and they didn't really show any games for it. Microsoft I wasn't looking forward to at all cause I knew that they were just going to talk about Kinect. you suck as a writer and need to kill yourself.

  2. fuck the first few lines, read everything. If you worked for a newspaper or something that paid, you'd be fired. suck my balls fag.

  3. Good to know the attraction of violent homophobes is not lost here. Congratulations...Tremor...Deth...You have caught on that publications pay people to edit articles and such. How smart. Even showing the use of bigoted language is the greatest form of communication. I think others should take note.

  4. Well, I for one enjoyed the article. I happen to be very excited about the WiiU, but totally understand your point. I shall, though, present my rebuttal rationally and intelligently. Expect my post soon.

  5. I shouldn't have to point out your typos, you can't edit paper text. Be happy this is digital and you CAN edit. You still suck.

  6. This comment has been removed by the author.

  7. That's what you do when you announce a new console, show what it can do to get gamers and investors excited. Then throughout the year you show the games. Next E3 will be about the games. You wouldn't open up Hoover Dam all at once. think dude, think. Go play your stupid iToy and leave the real games to big boys.

  8. Ha, ok, indulge me. What investors do consoles have? You know R&D is created for big companies to create these, right? Do you know what R&D is without googling? No, those are not the answers, and I have thought, as pointed out by my points in the article. "Real games to big boys"? Read that sentence again and tell me it makes sense in the grand scheme of societal structure. This is hobby, but if you are looking for an intellectual battle of wits sir, you and your sophomoric, sociopathic rants will lose time and time again. And you have picked the wrong time, wrong guy, and wrong network to flame with you illogical ranting. In terms of thinking, I believe it is clear who is doing all of it and who is lacking coherency. Yes, I am indulging a troll. I cannot help it. Maybe this is catharsis squared. But my grief and rage will be directed at something now.
    Am I allowed to correct spelling errors this time around? Of course I am, but anyone that has a reasonable amount of knowledge about my state of mind right now would no doubt allow for such occurrences. And I will allow. I can thank you're hot-headed attitude for pointing my ignorance in "spell-checking" what is otherwise an intelligent, insightful, and unique opinion unfettered by the likes of people that use hate as a means of communication. How much inherent bigotry can one person posses? Do you speak this way to people in normal life? Do you speak to people? Can you match my level here? I would say no. And yes, I will allow myself to convey an amount of hatefulness, as I believe this is deserving. Would you like to call some gay friends of mine "fags"? Do you understand the inappropriateness of your mud-slinging? And your obvious inability to appropriately research a topic before engaging in conversation? Certainly not. These companies have no investors beyond stock holders. The consent of R&D is creation of product (physical or intellectual) that will continue growth of a company. Nintendo is not here to show WiiU to "investors" as they invest their own money, and therefore shareholders. The theme of the piece is having tangible product to present at a trade show beyond tech demos. These are the big companies, they are not indie hardware makers looking for people to give money to build more. It is a different world than you can understand, that of corporate product. Holding on to what you are making is smart so you don't promise a game (Beyond Good and Evil 2, Duke Nukem Forever) and have nothing really to show for it in months to come. Nukem had to be bought by another company over 10 years later to finish the product. You clearly would buy WiiU this holiday season if available. Why not jump on that market. Creating product cycles of irrelevance is never a good decision, DC will be learning that the hard way come July and August. So continue with you ignorant hate comments, and your mid level aptitude of the gaming industry. I believe by now, no one is on your side. Unless you have a bunch of baby ducks to karate chop a table and beat a snake. Then we are looking for trouble.
    Your Welcome.

  9. nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger

  10. no one on my side, what the 1 and a half people that read your shitty, unproofread shit posts. go burn in nonexistant hell you fucking aids infested crack addict that loves to take it in the ass from 15 guys at once.

  11. I think the Wii-U looks fun. Nintendo was in a bit of a corner, where they had to announce a new console here. They really couldn't wait until they had games because the Wii's life cycle is nearing it's end. The Wii-U showed a lot of potential to me, but I think as usual, Nintendo is ahead of the curve, perhaps to their detriment.

    Conversely, I thought the Vita looked terrible. It's just the PSP, again. I always feel like Sony just takes what other popular things there are and throws them on their systems without a rhyme or reason. DS has a touch screen? We've got one on the back!

    Microsoft hasn't excited me thus far, but I'm not really a hardcore gamer, either. I give them props for continuing to develop way to use the Kinect. At least when Microsoft steals Nintendo's ideas, they run with it.